Day Two Hundred Seventy Three: Nine Months, I could have had a kid

Today completes nine months of this daily blog. I could be birthing a kid today in that same length of time. Except I would actually have to have sex to get pregnant and that isn't happening. I am unfuckable. 


Perhaps it is my bad attitude. Not towards men in general, I love them. I think it is just the idea of a specific one. I don't couple well apparently. At least I have not met one yet that can stick. I don't even have a clue where to find one, and truth be told, I don't look. I will be as shocked as anyone if one finds me.


Not opposed to the idea, just incredulous. But excited none the less by even the idea of the possibility.


As for the art, I have learned a lot about myself, about the discipline of daily art, the definition of said art and the futility of discussion of visual subjects.

Thursday, September 30: sharpie on paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Seventy Two: I need better balance

I was stopped beside the way today futzing with my camera. A small move forward was necessary and I accidentally clipped in to my pedal. When I went to put my foot down it did not go and in slow motion I tipped over into the tall grass. I managed to bloody up a finger and wipe it on my skirt. No big deal, but I was torn between: thank god I no one was around to see that, and: Shit, I should have gotten that on film, so everyone can see it.


Ah well, artistic differences. With myself.

Wednesday, September 29: Sharpie on paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Seventy One: Gracious Gratitude

Here today I am having fun. Not that I did anything particularly different. I woke up late as I please. I lazed in bed for a while before I actually got out of it. Then I rode my bike. It was gorgeous out and while I promised myself 12, I ended up with 22 miles. And happily so. I went to work and washed the salt off and had a fine day with people that I enjoy and love watching on their chosen journeys. 

Nothing particularly unusual at all. Except that I was giddy happy. I realized again how blessed I am. To do all that with a smile. Ride fast and hard and grin in the headwinds. I have work that allows my mind to drift to what it pleases. I am able to play with art in endless varieties of ways every day. And I am healthy, ridiculously so. And I have friends and family that I love. I eat well and play at will. 

Gad, I am having a good time on the path of my dreams. A bike path at that.

Thank you.

Tuesday, September 28: Sharpie and paint on paper, 11x15

Day Two Hundred Seventy: Wolf calls.

I love my new phone. It is every tool I wanted in one. I almost don't care about the phone capacity. I have a camera, camcorder, voice recorder, notepad, google, music, fm radio, timer, calculator, flashlight, clock, weather updates, mobile hotspot, calendar. And it does Facebook and email and text messaging.


I downloaded a driver and now it functions as an external data drive for moving photos, music and video around. While it is doing that, it charges through the computer. 


I am all geeked out about a tool/toy. I know this is old hat for the early adapters. But I am excited about the videos. I like the quality I have seen so far, for a phone. I need video editing software and off I go. 


See you in the funnies!

Monday, September 27: Tempera paint and Sharpie on paper 11x15

Day Two Hundred Sixty Nine: Star Lake City

A wonderful weekend day to chat, make art and ride a bike. Twists and turns add texture to my day. And so do the people that I meet.

Sunday, September 26: Acrylic paint, Sharpie on Paper 11"x15"

Day Two Hundred Sixty Eight: It's Relative

I am remarkably well preserved. 


Or so I was told today. I appreciate that. I had just ridden 14 miles in the dusk. It was glare in the eye sun setting on the horizon on my way west and fast waning light on the return. At any rate, I felt good and that settled it. 


I am remarkably well preserved. Indeed.

Saturday, September 25: Sharpie on Paper, 11"x14"

Day Two Hundred Sixty Seven: New Technology

I know that new stuff is totally learnable, it is not that I can't figure it out, it is only frustrating because my fingers aren't so agile. I can't just do what I want immediately. I will figure it out, and my fingers will so do what I want, effortlessly. Its just today, I am figuring it out and the learning curve is aggravating. Come back tomorrow and I will know more. I swear. 

Friday, September 24: Sharpie on Paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Sixty Six: The Need for Speed

On my ride this morning I wanted to at least get 11.5 miles... That is the average number of miles that I needed at that point per remaining days to reach my goal. And I had time for just that. So I thought.


On my outbound trip I passed a couple of boys riding the opposite direction. We smiled and exchanged nods. I had a more than a mile to go before the turn around point. On my return I forgot about them in lieu of a headwind. But, I had just passed the marker for the final mile back to the car when I saw them again up ahead. My need for speed kicked things up a bit and I continued to close the gap. Now, as I neared the parking lot, I was going to overtake them. It seemed a shame to blow by with a smile, only to turn off and stop. So, some distance was added on so I could dust them. And I did. I went out another mile only to meet them again on my return. 


More smiles were exchanged as I pushed past. Cute boys. 


I couldn't help but wonder though, how far they had come and how much further was planned. Perhaps if they were in the middle of a, say, 50 mile ride, they would probably pace themselves slower. I would. 


And with that thought, the puff went out of my blow hard and I while I was still happy with my ride, the day and my speed, I became less supercilious about my 'accomplishment'. Of course in my heart of hearts, I know I am faster than them, but, maybe, just maybe... I should keep that to myself.

Thursday, September 23: Sharpie on paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Sixty Five: Whew, Last Day of Triple Digits

Yeah, thats right, I have been at this long enough that after today, there are 99 days left. I think. Its late, I am tired and I also rode 22 miles today before work. And the full sibling reunion is on. Five of my mother's six siblings are in town. A cackle-fest for certain.  And art still needs to get made, miles need to get ridden and Toastmasters is in 5 hours. Good thing I can run for miles on little sleep. 


I love seeing them all. Her side of the family is notoriously long lived. Grandpa lived to be 100. And all seven kids are still alive even though four have outlived their original spouses, two are on spouse number two and one has outlived even number two. Only one is too infirm to travel. Pretty good genes I have. 


I shall make art until my hands can't do it and ride my bike until I face plant. 

Wednesday, September 22: Sharpie on Paper 9x12

Day Two Hundred Sixty Four: My Edge is Sharp

Sometimes when I am tired my words come out sharper than I mean them to sound. And then I spend hours castigating myself over them. 


And perhaps it was not even noticed. I have a low tolerance for low tolerance. 


I realize that Lao Tzu is correct. Silence is best. Understanding comes with non-judgement. Nothing is worth using my sharp edge. 


Silence it is.


So, in my quiet, the maze of my life becomes apparent. And there are lots of dead ends.

Tuesday, September 21: sharpie on paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Sixty Three: Alone in the Crowd

Small lines add up to create a crowd, chaos, noise. Bit by bit, I move away from the noise, the crowd, the chaos. Not for a reason I can point to. No, but rather that my attention is elsewhere. Not for judgement of the old way, but just for intentions that lead me another way. I don't even know why. But I move on towards my destiny. And it moves towards me.

Monday, September 20: Sharpie on Paper

Day Two Hundred Sixty Two: Grateful for the Rain

When I got to the point of riding to a friends house today, the rains had begun. It was just over ten miles and it rained the entire way, increasing in intensity as I pedaled. I could feel my shoes filling with water and after 4 miles I took off my glasses and put them in the old lady pocket and continued. Under a bridge I encountered a couple of cyclists waiting out the rain and at a trail head parking lot were three more hiding in the bathroom. 


I continued on.  The final mile was so heavy I could barely see at all and the standing water on the road was inches deep.


When I arrived, a cup of tea and a towel awaited me. I dripped on her floor, drank the tea, changed shirts and headed back out. 


I guess I must have passed the test, because the rains slowed to a sprinkle for a couple miles, then stopped altogether. Then the birds came out with the sun. 


I laughed with them and the rains stayed away until I arrived home. 


A great day I must say. Riding in less than ideal conditions just makes me more determined and grateful to be able to ride at all.

Sunday, September 19: Sharpie on paper

Day Two Hundred Sixty One: It rains, it pours.

I don't mind the rain, but I prefer not rain for riding. But if it be rain, so be it.
Miles to go, smiles to grin, grasshoppers to spit, thighs to sigh. 


I said once that I would prefer riding at midnight in a snow storm than sit in a cubicle. Well, it is not snow yet, but rain is good practice. Or shut the hell up.

Saturday, September 18: Sharpie on paper...

Day Two Hundred Sixty: I Bike, I Write, I Speak

Another week at the grind has been laid to rest and I relish the weekend. I speak tomorrow about my biking to those looking for humor in my words. My first competition with my Toastmasters group and I am nearly ready. I of course selected a topic I love and know: biking and me. Since me and my bikes have been more consistent than me and boys, me and work, me and any other thing in my life, it was a good choice. My bike never fails me, even when I sometimes fail myself. 


But together we make a formidable pair and I feel confident in my talk. And I am sticking to that story. 


Wish me luck.

Friday, September 17: Pastel and Sharpie on paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Fifty Nine: Ribs and Riding, Boys and Bugs

Riding after the rain was amazing. The rain had cleared the path of grasshoppers. They were everywhere in the late season heat. They seem to enjoy the pavement and made me think of swarms of locusts when I rode. They were impossible to avoid and I hated running over those that became caught in my wake. Of course, so thick were the hoppers that they bounced off my body, my bike and my face. I had to grit my teeth to make sure that they did not spring into my mouth and down my windpipe. 


I did manage to suck up a smaller bug yesterday and spent the better part of three miles hacking it back out. It reminded me of how happy I am to be a non-smoker now instead of having that cough as I did all last year. 


At any rate, this morning: the rain cleared the bugs away and in their wake were the remnants of fall: pine needles crunched under my tires and I had to wonder just how slippery when wet they would become. 


None the less, I rode, and fast. Twelve miles in just over a half hour. The storm clouds, gorgeous; the possibility of a drenching, thrilling; the pure strength, exhilarating. And the calves on a boy out running, sexy and fun. 


I think I was extra buoyant from the most excellent ribs consumed just before from Willies BBQ. Most excellent I can remember. Suck the meat off the bone wonderful. Thank you Willie for the extra rib. A pusher knows his clients and now I am hooked.


Faster I say, faster. 


And then there are friends to ride with, faster I say, faster.

Thursday, September 16: Mikey-licious. Young, fast and sweet: post ride.

Day Two Hundred Fifty Eight: Believing is Seeing

Another day that I worked hard to be present and alert to possibilities. And for the morning it worked well. I rode my bike 20 miles. The path and the weather was gorgeous and I felt strong and fast and happy and grateful.


But that is easy, to stay happy and grateful when I am pedaling or making art or doing the things that ignite my soul. 


The real challenge is to remain in that state when I am doing other things that sometimes seem to be a drag on my energy. Like sitting in a cubicle. I am grateful to remember then that my attitude, emotions and demeanor are all of my choosing. Thank God for that. 


So, I choose to believe in happiness and then I see it.

Wednesday, September 15: random Matthew photo

Day Two Hundred Fifty Seven: Over the Hill

Yeah, I rode over a huge hill this morning. It was gorgeous out and the path called. I had a great morning. The lake route is one of the most beautiful and before it ends it manages to climb and drop. All energized I headed out. And back. I am strong. I am invincible. 


And then work. 


Sitting in a chair all day is a drag. Especially since I think that the change is here. I get hot flashes on the regular and it is exhausting. Plus I want to bite the head off of anyone in my path. I am managing to remember that I do have control over that so I retract my claws with minimal scratches inflicted. But my sleep is affected. While I don't really care what it means to me, all I care is that it is taking my energy. But that might be the office. I feel fine on the bike. And I am always hot on the bike so the hot flashes have little effect. 


Over the hill. In more than one way.

Tuesday, September 14: Sharpie on paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Fifty Six: The Ultimate Truth

Is there an ultimate truth? I suspect that there is but my human senses are too primitive to grasp it. I can get the sense, I just can't assimilate. 
I am getting there though. I will keep it moving.

Monday, September 13: Sharpie on paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Fifty Five: Cold Sweats as Life Changes

Stripped of my baggage, I can see things as I am.  In a need to move forward on the path I see before me, I decided to eliminate that which wastes either my time or my money. So, in that vein, Facebook took the hit today. I deactivated. I realized that I was spending two hours a day? Two hours a day or more, along with countless obsessive checks throughout the day. Surely that time could be used to actually write what I want, instead of endless quips and comments leading to nowhere and nothing.
Awakening to this realization was shocking to me. I don't want to talk about who I want to be, I just want to be. So I am. I am an artist, a writer and cyclist. I have little time to worry about what an acquaintance had for lunch, or that the cat of a friend of a friend just pooped on the carpet. And reading about the whining of those I barely know is just depressing, depressing that I am reading it, depressing that they feel the need to broadcast it, depressing that time was wasted finding out about it. 
As a networking tool, I see the value. I understand the will to make contact with people met at other points of my life. But true friends will find me. And truth be told, this is likely a vacation. Facebook does not allow the deletion of a profile. All I need to do is log back on and I am back where I left off. I wonder, really, how long I will thwart my addiction.

Sunday, September 12: Sharpie on Paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Fifty Four:I got Webleyed

And that is okay. After all i have a couple friends that will, maybe still love me, even if I do not.

Saturday, Sept 11: disbelief and other things.

Day Two Hundred Fifty Three: Use the Soft Approach

I can see my future so clear that I am living there now. Art and Music and Biking mix well with good food and hearty beverages. All I can say is how thankful I am for the blessings in my life, my strong and energetic body, my loving friends and family, my creative urges pushing me forward. 


Thank you for everything.

Friday, September 10: Sharpie on Paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Fifty Two: I have a plan

My girlfriend said to come make this, a manifestation board. I am all over the idea. But here is the dream in a nutshell: I am an artist that writes, I get a travel channel show to ... well travel and ride my bike and see the world and talk about it and drink the wine and see the art and of course eat at will, I bike, I must eat.

And here is my manifestation board.

Thank you Mitch

I love the idea. I ride, I write, I roll, I love.

Thursday, September 9: paste and paper and ideas  on paper...

Day Two Hundred Fifty One: The World Shifted

I have energy to burn. And then I get burnt. 


So much to do in a life based on Art and Biking. I barely have enough time to do the minimum I would like in each. I would ride for hours daily, but Art would kill me. I need to attend to that too. If the stupid daily grind did not get in the way, oh the things I would do, see and create. 


Soon. I have plans for you my pretty. Until then, I do what I am blessed to be able to do, creating and biking and writing. Yes, Soon.

Wednesday, September 8: Sharpie on paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Fifty: So Long Beautiful Summer, Hello Sweaters and Tights.

Its after Labor Day and the chill in the air is brisk. I tried all weekend to pretend that in fact summer was still upon us, but alas the rain drops, the hoodie and the heat in my car all beg to differ. I had to dig out my long riding tights this morning. And I need to find my wind breaker/rain coat. I got rained on three times already. I love fall and fires and hot drinks, snuggling under blankets and rosy cheeks.


But I miss summer just the same. 

Tuesday, September 7: Lake Pend Oreille photo. 

Day Two Hundred Forty Nine: I rode bikes with Friends that Dream too.

And they dream different yet complimentary to me. And i LOVE that. And after that, we had some strained conversation. Too much complimentary was too revealing. So, do not look me in the eye. I forgot why I was here and now want to slink away. I scared myself. 
And we all thought that we were so on board and then we got forced to agree on something that was outside ourselves. 
The TV became the center of interest instead of us.
I got bored and here I am. 


Typing in the back ground to nothing.

Monday, September 6, 2010: Sharpie and shit on  bike along the way and then stuff happened.

Day Two Hundred Forty Eight: I Bloom

I have reached the tipping point. In case you were wondering what that means, so do I. While riding today, I had time to ponder and mostly what I pondered is what the animals are out there that leave the poops the size of a hockey helmet on the path. I mean, it was huge. Like a moose or a grizzly. I suppose moose is more likely in all the water. 
It was a great ride, rain, headwind and all. 
And now I may not sleep well as expected, day naps hinder my nighttime slumber.
So I made this, wrote this, and am turning off the lights and giving it a shot. If I can't sleep unaided, I will make use of tools from the nightstand that never fail to the put the relaxed nap into me. 

Sunday, September 5: sharpie on paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Forty Seven: Almost Like A Magical Serendipity.

This was a really magical day. I see it now. Who I am. My bike ride started out a little woozy. Up too late last night with friends, music and my bike. But, as I always say, just a couple miles. blow the dust off. Then once rolling... magic happens, miles roll by, my dreams get to feel the soaring of my heart, salt on the skin makes armor and I get faster and stronger and more seems better.


Yeah, I am a cyclepath, I get that. Just let me ride, make art, write and hang out with my friends. What else could there be.


And yeah, you, friend, I am talking about you. Want to roll and play and make art tomorrow? Let's roll! Mwah!

Saturday, September 4:   sharpie on paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Forty Six: Stars

My stars shine no matter what.

Friday, Sept 3: some stuff

Day Two Hundred Forty Five: I Want to Graffiti

I love stencils. So much fund to play with. Not as much fun to make, my razor hand is not as steady as I would like. Perhaps it has to do with the dull blade. 
Still, the paint cling. I would like to try sheets of stiff plastic film. More permanent. The paper stencil warps pretty fast, especially after a couple uses and some paint moisture. 


I am will do it, sharper razor and plastic film. 


After sleep.

Thursday, September 2: Acrylic paint, chalk on watercolor paper, 9x12

Day Two Hundred Forty Four: Make Bike Not Car

Bikes rule. 


The sooner you realize that the better. They are good for your mind, body and soul. And your planet. 


And even if you don't care about anyone else but yourself, the benefits are all there for you. Enjoy them. Ride, roll, rejoice. 

Wednesday, September 1: Spray paint, sharpie, chalk on paper. 18x24.